4 Social Changes During Puberty In Boys And Girls

Puberty is the time when your son or daughter goes through an emotional upheaval and many bodily changes. It is the crucial period when your child will move from childhood to adulthood, but will still not exhibit the exact characteristics of either being a child or an adult. The years during puberty can be extremely confusing for your child, and, as a result, it can result in a host of unexpected, different and sometimes irrational behavior.

As a parent, you will constantly try to understand what your child is going through and help him out. Knowing just what social changes your soon to be adult boy or girl will go through in these times will enable you to help them out better. Read on the article ‘social changes during puberty phase’ for more information.

Social Changes During Puberty Phase:

Here are some of the most common and important social changes in puberty for boys and girls will go through once they hit the years:

1. Searching For An Identity:

    • The years of puberty can be extremely confusing for your child as they cannot connect with their earlier feelings of being young children, nor can they understand the adult world completely. As a result, your child will find it very difficult to define whether he is either a child or an adult.
  • Your young child will keep trying to understand where they fit in the scheme of things and how they are supposed to behave.
  • At this stage, if you treat them as children, they will find it extremely insulting and may show their resentment. Also, if you try to treat them as adults and tell them to behave with maturity, they may find it very restrictive and find it difficult to stick to rules.
    • Also, as a constant search to find their identity, your child will try to take on more and more responsibility, which he may or may not be able to fulfill. This is a one of the common social changes in puberty stage.

Parental Tip:

Treat your growing child with a mix of both the phases, that of being a child and that of developing into an adult. Make sure you give them the love and attention you gave them when they were just young children but also start giving them a little more independence and trust them with responsibilities.

2. Issues With Self Esteem:

  • During the years of puberty, your child will come in contact with a lot of new friends and people. As a result, she will get the chance to see a lot of different personalities and may often compare it with her personality and nature.
  • With so many new responsibilities coming up and so many new changes happening all around her, your child may go through a lot of confusion. It can make children wonder whether they are capable of taking rational decisions and whether there is something lacking in their personalities.
  • The years during puberty are also very crucial for your child regarding keeping up a positive and strong personality in front of friends and peers. As a result, trying to understand their bodily changes and the conflicts that are going through their minds may often make them doubt their selves and create a negative image of their personality.

Parental Tip:

Make sure that you always offer a lot of support and encouragement to your child in whatever he or she is doing. Do not just limit your support to words, instead, also show them through your actions that you do believe in them and that you will be there to help them out if they need it. Let your child know that for all the changes that they are going through, you only love them more and do trust them completely.

3. The Risk Of Getting Involved In Dangerous Behavior:

  • Because your child is going through many changes, there is always a conflict going on. Your child will constantly try to break away from the previously set rules and regulations to assert his independence.
  • The constant need to break free and to prove to the world that they have grown up can have an extremely negative impact on most young children at this age.
  • During these years, your young child will be in a constant need to seek new thrills and experiences. As a result, it can also mean that your child will come into contact with the wrong set of youngsters who may not always be the best choice as friends or role models.
  • Your child at this age may take to gather new experiences related to drinking, smoking, tobacco use, substance, and drug abuse, as well as risky experiences and adventures regarding physical or sexual intimacy. Even though you may have spoken to your child about all of this before and are sure that they know what is right and what is wrong, there are still chances that your child will get influenced by what their other friends are doing. You need to be extra careful and ensure that this does not happen. This is a major social changes that occur during puberty.

Parental Tip:

Do not show your child down in front of their friends, as it will only increase resentment and make them want to break away from rules even more. If you are not happy with the kind of friends they are in touch with or if you are not happy with their behavior, talk to them in a calm manner, without being preachy. If you suspect that your child may be in danger or seems to get addicted, make sure you speak to a counselor for your child.

4. Depression And Suicidal Or Self-Harming Thoughts:

  • The years of puberty are also critical and are times when your child may go through a range of emotions, including depression, ranging from mild to severe. While many children can often bounce back from depression on their own, with the help and love of family and friends, some children may face severe depression and need professional help.
  • It is a very common thing for your child to feel sad and unhappy at the drop of a hat during this time. Also, your child may not realize why they are feeling unhappy, and make it more difficult for them to understand what they can do to get out of that feeling.
  • The years of puberty are not just filled with changes that apply to how your child is growing and developing. During these years, your child will also face some very important times in the academic world, and a lot of stress can further contribute to the feeling of depression. This is one of the cause of social effects of puberty.
  • Your child will feel a constant need to perform well and fare better than others, which can cause severe distress and anxiety. A lot of things will be happening in your child’s world at this age, which your child will be facing for the first time. From meeting lots of new people to interacting more with the opposite sex and experiencing those first pulls of sexual or physical needs, to try and maintain a positive image and putting up an almost adult-like personality, there are a lot of factors that will contribute to stress in your child during these years.
  • As a parent, it is important for you to look for signs of depression, anxiety, self-harm as well as any suicidal tendencies that may come up in your child. Some of the most common signs and symptoms are being sad all the time without any proper reason or without being able to explain why, feeling worthless or having a low self-esteem, no interest in activities that your child had loved earlier. Avoiding meeting friends, speaking to family members or going to social gatherings, preferring to be alone and not responding to questions. Trying to avoid going to school or not going to school at all, difficulty in completing academic projects. Complaints from teachers about poor performance in class, difficulty concentrating and paying attention are some of the changes occur during puberty.

Parental Tip:

If you notice any of the above symptoms in your children, make sure you speak to them and try to ask them what they are feeling. Show that you give importance to their feelings and assure them that no matter what is disturbing them, you will not judge them for it. If appropriate, you can also tell them about similar experiences you had when you were growing up and how you dealt with it. If you feel that despite all your efforts you are not able to help your child, make sure you speak to a doctor or counselor about it. Feelings of depression, self-harm and suicide are extremely dangerous and should be treated with immediate concern.


Puberty is a time of many changes in your child, so do not be worried if your child suddenly goes through a major transformation concerning social approach. Be there for your child and assure him of your love and support, while also keeping an eye on them for their safety.

Moms, do share your tips on how you dealt with your children while they were in puberty. We would love to hear from you. Leave your comments below.

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