I shut the door and wept. I wanted to sit in that room and wither away than go out and face the world. But there was somebody waiting for me there. I was all for him and he was dependent on me…
Those were the initial days of my motherhood. It was like a kid getting a new teddy bear. I loved the baby, I was amused at this tiny soul, I was elated to feel his tender skin but I didn’t know how to take care of him.
The caretakers in the hospital told me I would get to know everything instinctively, as motherhood is a natural process. But I was not convinced. “Why can’t they be a little more practical,” I thought.
Before I became a mother, I never dealt with a baby. I wouldn’t hold any baby for the fear of dropping or harming them. I was never a kids’ person, and I couldn’t relate to motherhood before I became a mother.
Then suddenly, one day, I delivered the baby four weeks before my due date. It meant that I was still not prepared to welcome him into my life. He was born underweight. Once I was home after the delivery, it was all confusing because my relatives and friends would come up with innumerable suggestions.
Hold the baby like this, don’t hold him like that; breastfeed him every hour, don’t breastfeed him so frequently; he should sleep with you in the bed, he should sleep in the crib. It was as if people were yelling into my ears. And yes, nobody would leave the house without remarking that the baby is ‘so thin’.
It was all adding up to my stress, and then one day it peaked. I locked myself in my room. I felt worthless, I felt I can never do justice to my baby. I regretted bringing him into this world of insensitive people. I was a FAILURE.
Just then I heard my baby’s wails. It sounded like he was calling me. He seemed to be telling me, “Mama, I love you, and I need you. You are the only person I need.” It was like The Calling for me.
I wiped my eyes, and opened the door. The moment I saw the little one, I just melted. And that’s when I strengthened myself. I remembered what the caretakers in the hospital said: Motherhood comes naturally, and now I understood what they meant.
I decided to shut my ears and mind to what outsiders and strangers have been saying. I tried following my heart and my motherly instinct. I did my share of right and wrong things. I was overjoyed when things worked out and I learnt a lesson when things didn’t work. You might call it a trial and error method, but I saw it as my resolve to do what I thought was right for the baby.
It’s been six months now, and I am happy with what I have done. I am happy I took the right decisions. My baby is no more underweight; my pediatrician says the baby has covered up the weight gap miraculously. That coming from an expert fills my heart with pride, and makes me grateful to my son.
It is not my story alone. It is the story of many such mothers out there, who have been fighting it out every day trying to strike a balance between the societal pressures and their motherly instincts.
During my struggle to overcome my anxieties, I was introduced to Baby Dove and its range of products. Baby Dove recognizes the anxieties faced by mothers. The brand is a voice of encouragement to all the mothers. And it believes that there are no perfect moms but only real moms. Baby Dove gave me the strength to believe in myself!